Category: Relationships

One Love

4/17/2013

We were made to love. To want and need to give and receive it.

Love is an infinitely renewable resource. Giving love produces love. Receiving love produces love.

Love, as opposed to lust, is also a feeling of connection. It's gratitude for the existence of someone or something. And it's the source of a selfless wish that all will be well.

Only when we lose the love of ourselves can we begin to hate each other. Love is lost to ignorance of our inherent perfection and unity in life.

Try hard to nurture love whenever it can be found like an ember you can delicately coax into a flame that will grow into a warming glow for everyone to gather around.

Strive to periodically return to the peaceful stillness underneath your thoughts and actions where love waits to refresh your spirit.

Be curious about yourself, the world and the people you share it with and you'll invariably discover something that pulls on your heart strings.

Try to lose your sense of individual self by doing something altruistic, however big or small, and you'll find the great connection among us all.

However it speaks to you, act upon "A five-word sentence that could change the world tomorrow [which] is 'What would love do now?'" – Neale Donald Walsch

Read the classic, The Art of Loving, by Psychologist Erich Fromme for an insightful description of the history and variety of the greatest human emotion and how to cultivate it to enrich your life and the world.

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BODY – MIND – SPIRIT

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Who am I? When was the last time you asked yourself?

4/7/2013

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Many spiritual teachers and philosophers have emphasized the value of finding the answer to this question, or at least seeking to answer it.

Some have even said that within the answer to this question lie the answers to all others.

If you haven’t sought to answer it, the world has probably attempted to answer it for you. But the only label that really matters is the one you give yourself.

Usually our label or identity speaks to the way our bodies look and the things it can do, or our minds – our personalities and ideas, and/or our relations to others.

In defining ourselves we rarely consider our spiritual identities. That's because it's just not practical. Or is it?

Unlike a body or mind-centered identity, which reinforces the idea of separateness and individuality, having a strong spiritual identity expands the notion of who we are.

Spirit has an ethereal quality that permeates the fibers from which the sense-based world is woven. It is the underlying essence of all that appears to be real.

Connecting with this makes us also feel more connected to each other and the rest of creation. It helps us to appreciate that some part of us is also a part of everything else.

Experiencing life through the lens of a spiritual identity helps us understand Ramana Maharshi, a spiritual luminary, when he said, “There are no others.” He is directing our attention away from our apparently separate existences to point out that we are just different leaves on different branches of the same tree of life. True separateness is merely an illusion.

What does this mean in day-to-day life? There can be no loneliness, even in times of being alone. There are no true adversaries. There is only unity in diversity, a common ground from which we’ve grown and are sustained.

If you want a rational, Western explanation of the Self as spirit, I highly recommend Fritjof Capra’s classic, The Tao of Physics.

Or connect with some of your contemporaries to learn their thoughts and feelings on the matter. TED Conversations: The Age Old Question: “Who am I?”

So who are you?

I’d love to hear how you answer that question.

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BODY – MIND – SPIRIT

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Top 5 positive actions to increase your happiness

3/27/2013

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"The pursuit of happiness is a fundamental human goal." The United Nations

From The Happy Planet Index

Connect with loved ones. Spending time sharing in other people's lives and allowing them to share in yours satisfies our innate human need for positive social interaction.
Be physically active, especially outdoors. Fresh air and vigorous movement rejuvenates the body and releases hormones that improve mood.
Notice. Heightening your awareness of the present moment helps draws your attention to the numerous little blessings you're graced with that otherwise go overlooked.
Keep learning. Do this all life long. There's strong evidence that curiosity, not even necessarily formal learning, helps maintain mental health, particularly as we age.
Give. Altruism in all its forms - thoughts, words and actions - is pound-for-pound the greatest investment you can make in your happiness. Read my recent post about all the benefits here.

Do you like to be happy? Would you like to live in a happier world? Then join the tribe that's ushering in that new reality. And . . .

Watch Nic Mark’s TED talk about the Happy Planet Index and why it's advancing the movement to replace Gross Domestic Product with Gross National Happiness as the standard by which our nations set development policy and judge progress.

Read the United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-moon's remarks about the urgent need to replace our singularly economic standard of development and progress with a humanitarian standard that acknowledges the basic human need and desire to love the lives we live.

Follow The PATH² to attaining total health and happiness.

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Nothing rewards greater than selfless service

3/24/2013

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We all know that it’s important to help others. But perhaps you aren’t aware of how good helping others can be for you.

First of all, the kind of behavior I’m referring to isn’t just any kind that happens to benefit someone else; it’s called altruism. Altruistic behavior is characterized by a person’s intent to perform an act designed to benefit someone or something other than him or her self. You can also call it selfless service, volunteerism, or karma yoga if you like.

Performing random (or planned) acts of kindness is good for or a variety of reasons, some of them perhaps surprising.

Broadly speaking, selfless service increases quality of life across the board. Sociologists found that volunteer work enhances six aspects of personal wellbeing: happiness, life satisfaction, self-esteem, sense of control over life, physical health and depression.

Here’s a review of 20 years of scientific research showing that altruistic behavior produces health benefits (click).

Basically, our brains are designed and built to enjoy helping others. Neuroscientists found an old (by evolutionary standards) pleasure center in the brain that makes us feel physically good to do something unexpected and kind for someone else. In fact, it's the same part of the brain activated by food and sex!

Selfless service also satisfies our craving for positive social interaction. However great or small, the recognition we receive upon carrying out an act of kindness increases our feeling of connectedness. The UN surveyed the effects of volunteerism on global society and concluded, “Our own well-being is intrinsically linked to what we contribute to the lives of others.” (You should read Chapter 8 of the report.)

Altruism is how we act upon the intuition that somehow we’re all part of the same team. Interestingly, giving aid can be even more beneficial than receiving it. In this way, life was designed to be a win-win situation.

People who spend some of their time selflessly giving to others are more likely to report being happy.

Try the giving experiment for yourself. Maybe start small. Put a few quarters in someone’s expired parking meter or let someone go in front of you when both of your cars are tied at stop signs. Even a smile and a sweet thought to a passing stranger counts, “I hope you feel loved today.” Or just go big. Donate your hair to Locks of Love or offer to babysit for a veteran so he or she can have a fun night out. Here are some other ideas from RandomActsofKindness.org.

“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.”
– Franklin D. Roosevelt

Body – Mind – Spirit

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Empathy is the key to meaningful relationships – quality, not quantity

2/20/2013

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We all have an inherent need to feel connected to others. The strongest connections are those in which we feel understood. Empathy is the key to feeling understood. It is the antidote to loneliness, whether we give it or receive it.

Hearing “I understand” from someone when you can see that they truly do or hearing the words from a friend that finish the sentence you started creates the connection that everyone craves.

Having countless “hi and bye" acquaintances, a phone contact list a mile long and 5,000 Facebook "friends" can still leave you feeling lonely, if none of them understands the look in your eye or the pauses between your words. Quality not quantity is what guarantees that much-sought after connection, and empathy is the key to ensuring quality in your social interactions.

When you are able to tune into someone else’s experiences you can have a meaningful relationship with just about anybody. And while you might want to bond with everyone you meet, don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself to do so because the connectedness you seek can be satisfied by a handful of really high-quality relationships.

Poor is the person with many acquaintances and rich is the person with at least one good friend.

BODY – MIND – SPIRIT

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Making relationships work requires cutting yourself and others some slack

2/16/2013

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Good relationships require emotional investment. And that investment makes you vulnerable to hurt feelings, which are inevitable. How we manage those hurt feelings will strengthen or weaken the relationship.

When somebody acts like a jerk it’s often because they don’t know how to handle adversity effectively or to control volatile emotions. Responding with compassion is best for everyone in this kind of situation. Remembering that you too have made mistakes makes it easier to empathize and forgive.

It’s worth noting that the tendency to assume that someone else is to blame whenever our feelings have been hurt is somewhat flawed. Not all of the people who’ve offended you intended to. Misunderstanding may be to blame.

A huge part of misunderstanding is miscommunication. The odds that I can form a perception, emotion, experience or idea into words and communicate it to you in a way that successfully conveys my intended message is slim to none. When we keep that in mind it’s easier to let some perceived offenses slide.

We also need to be able to extend the willingness to forgive to our relationships with ourselves. Forgiveness keeps us accountable for our behavior. It doesn’t erase it. But it allows us to frame our mistakes as opportunities to learn and develop emotionally, instead of falling into the trap of thinking that our mistakes define who we are.

Lastly, forgiveness has to extend to our relationship with a higher power. Forgive life for not being fair. Forgive the clouds for raining on your parade. Forgive whomever or whatever you can and act in a way to make the best of a bad situation.

BODY – MIND – SPIRIT

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One Love

Who am I? When was the last time you asked yourself?

Top 5 positive actions to increase your happiness

Nothing rewards greater than selfless service

Empathy is the key to meaningful relationships – quality, not quantity

Making relationships work requires cutting yourself and others some slack

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One Love

Who am I? When was the last time you asked yourself?

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Top 5 positive actions to increase your happiness

Get The PATH² Good News delivered straight to your inbox

Nothing rewards greater than selfless service

Get The PATH² Good News delivered straight to your inbox

Empathy is the key to meaningful relationships – quality, not quantity

Making relationships work requires cutting yourself and others some slack

Get The PATH² Good News delivered straight to your inbox

Popular Posts

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