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Be more than a bundle of habits. Over 95% of each thought we think, word we speak, and action we perform comes from the habit function of the subconscious mind.

3/17/2013

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Much of our day-to-day follows a routine. 

We do the same things, in the same ways, in the same places, and with the same people. We know our routines so well that we can carry them out without thinking too hard, if at all. 

We are creatures of habit. 

Habits are automatic reactions to repeating situations. They are formed by our responses to stimulus that repeats with great frequency or intensity. Combine frequency and intensity and you have brainwashing: the fastest way to form the deepest habits. Whatever stimulus enters the mind with the greatest combination of frequency and intensity forms a habit out of our initial responses, whether it's for better or for worse.

The habit function of the subconscious mind is an efficiency mechanism that frees up limited working memory (i.e. conscious awareness) allowing us to learn complex mental and physical tasks. Our subconscious recognizes familiar situations, recalls our most common responses to them and initiates the response as an automatic reaction . . . all without expending much conscious mental effort. We can drive in traffic and type text messages at the same time without crashing because we’ve done both a million times. If we were doing either for the first time we probably would be in trouble.

However, the habit function is a double-edged sword. Although useful, it can also have an unfavorable impact on our lives because unfortunately it has no ability to judge a good habit from a bad one. This is where you – as in your conscious awareness – enter the picture.

A bad habit usually forms one of two ways; we either put ourselves in bad environments that offer little personal benefit, so that any response is still probably not a very good response, or we choose poor responses to benign situations and then don’t bother to learn the error of our ways.

If the eminent psychologist William James was correct and ninety-nine hundredths, or possibly nine hundred and ninety-nine thousandths of our activity is purely automatic and habitual- from our rising in the morning to our lying down each night – then it’d be worth our while to make sure we form good ones.

So put yourself in healthy environments, expose yourself to stimuli that encourage your happiness, and try hard to choose the most positive responses to the situations you find yourself and you're guaranteeing that the habits you form will be positive ones. As go our habits, so go our lives.

Charles Duhigg’s book The Power of Habit is a science-laden, yet readable discussion of the dominance of habit in our lives and a nice contemporary compliment to William James’ work. I recommend it if you’re interested in learning more about why your life is the way it is and how you can make it even better.

BODY – MIND – SPIRIT 

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Respond, don’t react – a conscious response provides an advantage over an automatic reaction 

3/6/2013

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Reactions are automatic behaviors that come from the habit function of the subconscious mind. They are triggered by a subconscious recognition of present circumstances resembling past experiences. Reactions are useful because they are nearly instantaneous and they free up working memory allowing us to perform complex mental processes and actions. The drawback is that they are slow to adapt to the unique aspects of the present situation and as a result they can become obsolete.

In contrast, responses are deliberate. They come from the conscious mind as a result of thoughtful consideration of the present circumstances. Responses have an advantage over reactions because they are unconstrained by past experiences. They provide us with the freedom to consider how the present is different from the past. The awareness of unique aspects of the present moment yields the opportunity to step out of past patterns of behavior and replace them with better ways of being here and now. 

Reflect on challenging situations that you face on a regular basis, like traffic or an irritating coworker, and try to come up with a new response that makes them less bothersome. If you can’t come up with a way to turn an apparently negative situation into a positive one, try substituting indifference; for example, how you would react to a tree you pass on your way down the road. Then practice anticipating these situations and implementing your new, improved responses.

The process of reevaluating your reactions and improving them through substitution with conscious responses has applications throughout life because almost everything you think, say, and do is a reaction controlled by the habit function of your subconscious mind. By reclaiming your present from the limitations of your past you can literally remake your life for the better.

BODY – MIND – SPIRIT

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Life is largely the result of the decisions we’ve made – most decisions appear trivial

2/27/2013

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While there are only a handful of really BIG decisions for each of us to make in life, the countless tiny decisions we make on a day-t0-day basis are just as significant. Tiny decisions are like snowflakes, really good ones can float you along like a skier gliding through powder and bad ones can bury you in an avalanche that you triggered.

The life situation you find yourself in right now is largely the result of all the decisions you’ve made in the past.

It’s true that we have little control over many of the events that occur in our lives, and the temptation to say that our lives have been dealt to us is always present. But we can’t give into that temptation because it’s helpless, passive and self-defeating.

Powerful, resourceful people focus instead on what they are able to control. You can control your actions, your speech, and even your thoughts to a surprisingly great extent. The way you do that is by exercising choice. 

This has enormous implications, which can’t all be discussed in a short blog post. So for now I’ll just address one, extremely practical example.

The most frequently occurring decision you are offered by life is how to respond to the circumstances that you are in at any given moment … like NOW, for instance. 


It’s easy to entirely forget that this choice even exists. When that happens, your choice is one of omission; in other words, you react according to a pattern of past behavior, or habit. The disadvantage of this is that a past reaction, even one that served you well many times before, may be inappropriate for you now. 

In contrast, by noticing and consciously exercising your ability to choose a response unconstrained by the past you maximize the opportunity to make the moment serve your best interests. 

As a side note, this is all part of the broader subject of cause and effect. Every moment is both an effect of the moment preceding it and a cause of the moment that follows. In this way, your reaction or response to the events occurring around you is effected by those events and at the same time a cause of the outcome of your interaction with those events. But I digress … 

Recognize that your behavior – what you do, say, and think – is an ongoing opportunity to make good choices. Ask yourself whether you’re consistently making the kinds of choices that are in your best interests. You might be surprised to find that the answer is often "no." But once you've identified this you can begin reversing the pattern by simply paying attention and responding better. Then you’ll see that choice is a magic wand that you can wave to create the life you desire out of thin air.


BODY – MIND – SPIRIT    
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You become like the company (and environment) you keep – filter out all but the positive

2/8/2013

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There’s no doubt that we take on some of the characteristics of our environments. It’s actually an exchange; we influence and change our environments and our environments influence and change us. It pays to consider whether that’s always a good thing.

In a positive environment we thrive. In a negative environment we struggle. Usually, there’s a mix of positive and negative influences in our surroundings. Ideally, we’d do well to expand, imitate, and eventually embody the positive influences and ignore, avoid, and eliminate the negative influences. But we can’t do this effectively unless we selectively filter our environment to let in what serves us and block out what disturbs us.

Consider the places, spaces, and company you spend your time among: which aspects are most beneficial and which are a bother? After you identify these key influences, use your creativity and resourcefulness to create the ideal environment for your purposes out of whatever situation you find yourself in.

Your environmental filter will accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative in your surroundings. You can minimize whatever negative influences manage to get through by consciously focusing your attention elsewhere. The result will be that you find yourself more often than not in surroundings that support your health and happiness.


BODY – MIND – SPIRIT 
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There’s no good or bad, it’s our thinking that makes it so – tell yourself nice lies

2/6/2013

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Shakespeare probably gets the most credit for these words, but many of us have experienced how true they really are.

Before we assign value to something by calling it “good” or “bad” all that exists is the "truth". Fundamentally, the truth is an impartial perception or idea; it’s not good or bad until we make it so.

When we put “good” and “bad” labels on the truth we create lies in the sense that we’ve altered the truth. As it would seem that we are always in the business of altering the truth, we can do ourselves a service by at least changing it in a way that’s self-supporting: by telling ourselves nice lies. 

When Thomas Edison failed to invent the light bulb after hundreds of attempts he said that he didn’t necessarily see all those efforts as failures, but as ways of learning how not to make a light bulb. And it’s the same story for a lot of people who’ve succeeded in life despite adversity.

Looking at it from the other side of the coin, we can learn to stop changing the truth in ways that undermine our self-image or whatever endeavor we’re pursuing. For instance, sometimes when we perform an action that doesn’t go as well as we anticipated we assign it a "bad" value and call ourselves “no good” or “stupid” or “screw ups.” We've all been there. But a person’s behavior is not equal to the person. We all make mistakes and fail, but the truth is that none of us are mistakes or failures. When we change the truth by calling ourselves such untrue, negative things we’re changing the truth for our worse.

So if you’re in the habit of changing the truth for your worse then change it again, but this time in a way that supports you in whatever way you need. It’s good for your self-image and efforts to succeed if you learn to frame adversity in supportive ways. Or better still, learn to let things be as they are, make peace with the truth, and continue on your way.

"Good" and "bad" are just concepts, tools of the mind. And the mind accesses only part of reality. Later on I’ll show you what it means to get beyond your mind and experience life from that third, most subtle aspect of who you are.


BODY – MIND – SPIRIT 
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Align what matters most with what you do the most

1/28/2013

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We've all heard it said; do what you love and you'll never work another day in your life. But for some of us, that's just not an option. There is a way to get closer to that ideal though, and it's by simply reflecting on our values. When what matters most to us aligns with what we spend our time on, the result is deep-seated satisfaction. Conversely, when that equation isn't balanced, the result is not just stress, but distress.

Everyone has values- the things that matter most- whether they’re aware of them or not. To create a satisfying life we first have to know what our values are so that we can make choices that are aligned with them. This goes for the big choices made in a whole lifetime and also for the countless small ones that are made on a day-to-day basis.

How we typically feel in the first and last moments of the day are indicators of how well we’re living and how happy we are. By paying attention to those quiet times and the insights they reveal we can have a greater understanding of what we value the most, and then implement those values to create our ideal lives. 


BODY – MIND – SPIRIT 
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Find your genius – there are many kinds and everyone has it

1/14/2013

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Everyone is a genius.

Every single baby lying in the newborn ward at the hospital has the potential to be absolutely amazing. 

There are many different types of genius: musical, social, mathematical, athletic, spiritual, etc. 

Do you know what your genius is?

If not, why not try to find out what it is? How's that for a raison d'être?

Once you know what your genius is -- and you'll know when you find it not so much in your head, intellectually, but more so in your heart, intuitively -- why not focus on trying to develop it?

Is there a more purposeful existence than expressing your genius, the unique gift you have been given? 

BODY – MIND – SPIRIT 

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Stop shooting yourself in the foot – everyone is seeking joy and avoiding sorrow

1/14/2013

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If you make a list of all the things you don't love about your life you will see that you created them. 

You will see that you were either the direct cause or at least a contributing cause of pretty much everything on your list. That was the inescapable conclusion I had to reach if I had any commitment to being honest with myself when I did this. I think you'll find the truth in it, as well.

If you could just stop creating problems for yourself your life would transform into a winning lottery ticket. That's because it's our nature to feel scintillating (I'll elaborate later). 

Nature, God, or whatever word you want to use for events beyond our control account for almost none of the things we don't like about our lives. Just look at your list and you'll see.

The beautiful things about this realization is that it's empowering. We have almost total control over the lives we've created for ourselves and we can intelligently use that control (I'll show you how) to create the idea life we dream about . . . and even a life beyond our dreams. 

P.S. This all applies equally well to the things we (humanity) don't like about the world, too, because the world is just a larger scale version of an individual.

BODY – MIND – SPIRIT 
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